Tomorrow, I will say goodbye to my sweet girl. All my life I have longed for a horse of my own, and a little over eighteen months ago, that dream came true in the shape of Sunny. She was my dream horse, practically perfect in every way – the prettiest, the smartest, the best. Afraid of nothing and the personification of calm presence, with the sweetest eyes you’ve ever seen. But because life rarely goes as we expect it to go, and because changing circumstances sometimes call for difficult choices, tomorrow Sunny will be somebody else’s sweet girl. It took me months to make this decision, and thus I already wrote Something Else Inside Me in August, long before I reached conclusion in this process. Writing it helped me cope immensely with the prospect of having to let her go. At the time, it was entirely about Sunny and me, but gradually it became clear that in a broader sense, it is also about letting go of any dream, identity, or anything you always that was part of you… When all that falls away, what is it that remains? Who am I, still, if not that?

A relationship (with a human or an animal), a loved one, a job, a project, a home… After every goodbye there is despair and mourning. And eventually, there will be clearer skies, space, and fertile soil for new things to grow, perhaps in a different form entirely. But before that time comes, I will cry my tears sweet with remembrance, for that which no longer is, for that which could have been but never was. Farewell, my Sunnybunny. You are forever in my heart.

(this recording is rather experimental and rudimental, but it gives you an idea. Insert, among others, a harmonica solo – stay tuned in 2018 😉).